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Navigating School Avoidance: A Parent's Guide to Smooth Transitions

Updated: Jan 9

Student holding a school bag outside the building, symbolizing post-holiday transition and school avoidance challenges.
The winter holidays give students a well‑deserved pause. Rest, family time, and less structure. But when school resumes in January, that shift back can feel like hitting a brick wall.

For students who already struggle with anxiety, executive-function challenges, or negative school experiences, transitions after long breaks can trigger school avoidance.


The good news? A little planning during and after the break can help make January smoother for everyone.



1. Understand What “School Avoidance” Really Means


Understanding school avoidance

School avoidance isn’t just “not wanting to go to school.”


It’s often a stress response, the brain’s way of saying, “This feels unsafe or overwhelming.”


It can show up as:


  • Stomachaches or headaches before school

  • Emotional outbursts or shutdowns

  • Slow mornings or lateness

  • Requests to stay home “just for one more day”


The goal isn’t to force attendance but to understand what’s underneath the stress. Is it sensory overload, academic struggles, or social anxiety? By identifying these triggers, we can plan proactively.


2. Keep Routines During Break


Maintaining routines

While students need downtime, maintaining daily anchors keeps transitions gentler.


Here are some tips:


  • Keep bedtime and wake‑up times within one hour of school routines.

  • Sprinkle in “school‑like” bursts of focus, such as reading, journaling, or math games.

  • Prepare for structure by adding small tasks with deadlines: “Let’s finish this before lunch.”


Predictability soothes the nervous system. This is especially important for students with autism, ADHD, or anxiety.


3. Preview What’s Coming


Previewing the return

Children do better when they know what to expect.


Before break ends:


  • Review the January calendar together. Count down the days until school resumes.

  • Share who they’ll see again (teacher, bus driver, friends).

  • Talk about one positive thing waiting after break; art class, recess, a reading project, or a favorite staff member.


Visual reminders help, too. You can create a simple return‑to‑school countdown chart or a Charting the LifeCourse “Daily Routine” one-pager that outlines morning steps.



4. Manage Monday Morning Anxiety


Managing anxiety

The first few days back can bring big emotions.


Use sensory and emotional-regulation supports from the school year:


  • Calm starts: breakfast music, fidgets, sensory tools

  • Predictable goodbye rituals: “hug + high five” routine

  • Visual schedule posted near the door


If your child’s IEP includes behavioral or anxiety supports, review them with staff before break. Ask if re‑entry check‑ins can be added for the first week. A quick morning hello from a trusted adult can ease the transition.


5. Reconnect With the School Team


Connecting with the school team

If your child struggled with attendance last year, set up communication now:


  • Email the case manager or counselor the week before return.

  • Share observed patterns (“late mornings seem hardest”) and brainstorm a plan for the first days back.

  • Plan for gradual expectations—short days or part-time schedules may help rebuild tolerance when medically or emotionally needed.


Maryland schools follow COMAR 13A.08.01 Attendance Regulations, allowing flexible approaches when absences are linked to disability or documented anxiety.


6. Use Community and State Resources


Community resources

You don’t have to manage re‑entry alone. Maryland offers excellent supports for families navigating attendance and behavior challenges:



Back‑to‑School Transition Checklist


Before Winter Break Ends:


[ ] Keep consistent bedtime and wake‑up times.

[ ] Preview January calendar and schedules.

[ ] Revisit visuals, supports, and coping strategies.

[ ] Email teachers or case manager about re‑entry plan.

[ ] Celebrate small wins after the first few days!


Final Thought


Transitions are tough because they mix excitement and uncertainty. The goal isn’t a perfect return; it’s a supported one.


With structure, empathy, and teamwork, we can prevent school avoidance and help students walk confidently into the new year, one morning at a time.


As a parent of a son with level 3 autism, I know how challenging these transitions can be. But remember, you’re not alone. Together, we can create a nurturing environment that supports our children’s growth and success.

 
 
 

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